liriope

I've been up all weekend
Chasing dragons
Watching for truth
Living a lie

Once I found the apex
Expensive drugs and cheap sex
Feeling next to nothing
Fawning to fly

And then I found you

Colors washed from my world
Savaged by domestic girls
Made my bed
Now here I lie

Accepting the consequence
Except for the pretense
I wish I could say
I don't want to die

And then I found you

All the times that we had
All in the past
Back to this
There's not much else

Time is all I have now
Feeling a fade out
You made me feel
I could live with myself

And then I lost you

You're like liriope
Not that much left of me
You're like liriope
Sinking inside of me

FAWM 2013 - Five Years Later

I listened to some songs I wrote for FAWM 2013 tonight for the first time since I wrote them, probably.  These last two nights I've spent listening to a lot of old stuff, at M's suggestion / request.  When I think about revisiting what I've done, I'm always afraid I'm going to find that I'm repeating the same themes, that I have no new ideas.  Isn't that every artist's worst nightmare?

It's not just 2013 I've been revisiting, but all of the years of music I've made, at least since I started participating in FAWM in 2009.  I even listened to the first song I ever finished, a remix of Locust / All Your Own Way from June 2001.

The crazy thing is not realizing how far I've come, but how I wish I was back in the creative headspace I was back then.  I'm excited for what I'm doing now... maybe in five years I'll be able to appreciate it the way I appreciate what I did in 2013 now.